Sunday, December 4, 2011

Transcript for December 4, 2011 FREE AGENTS script analysis

The first Sunday of the month, if it's not a holiday, we are discussing TV pilot scripts and why they did or didn't work. Also analyzing the script. This week we talked about FREE AGENTS.


2011-12-05 2:30 am TVWriterChat Folks, me thinks it's #tvwriterchat o'clock. We are discussing the pilot
script FREE AGENTS
2011-12-05 2:31 am Jamie_LD RT @TVWriterChat: Folks, me thinks it's #tvwriterchat o'clock. We
are discussing the pilot script FREE AGENTS
2011-12-05 2:31 am GrayJones And we begin! What did everyone think of the Free Agents pilot
script? If possible, plz focus on script rather than aired. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:32 am GrayJones I thought the Alex & Helen characters are charming, well fleshed out,
with good dynamic between them. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:32 am art1032 hello #tvwriterchat:)
2011-12-05 2:32 am jacobsmadden I never watched the show, but I did read the first act. I think not
finishing it says how I felt about it. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:32 am JasmineMcAtee Quickly reading the Free Agents pilot script being discussed during #
tvwriterchat in oh... now. Join in, friends!
2011-12-05 2:32 am Jamie_LD @art1032 Hi Andrea #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:32 am scriptchat RT @TVWriterChat: Folks, me thinks it's #tvwriterchat o'clock. We
are discussing the pilot script FREE AGENTS
2011-12-05 2:33 am IngridElkner In some ways great, other ways weak, needed a lot of work,
fat-trimming, character work... #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:33 am ElectricianPlus The cold open was something I hadn't seen done before. #
tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:33 am Jamie_LD It took me until the end of the first act to really get into reading it. #
tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:34 am Jamie_LD @ElectricianPlus How is that? re cold open #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:34 am art1032 @Jamie_LD Hey!!! *Waves* :) #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:34 am GrayJones @IngridElkner & @jacobsmadden -- what specifically didn't you like?
#tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:34 am gregorywalters I liked Alex and Helen. The other characters all seemed the same. #
tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:34 am Jamie_LD @gregorywalters I liked Emma #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:34 am GrayJones I thought it got a lot more interesting in the back half of the script. #
tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:34 am SarahAlexis4 @GrayJones I agree, I think their characters and backstories, what
they have to overcome is the strongest part of the script. #
tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:34 am ElectricianPlus @Jamie_LD The scene...not the "Cold Open." #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:35 am gregorywalters I felt things started to work during the scene when they shopped for a
shirt.n #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:35 am Jamie_LD @ElectricianPlus haha, I understand that. But what was it about the
scene.? #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:35 am HWDInkSlinger HOLLYWOOD INK-SLINGER Andrew Oye #Screenwriter |
Developing cool new script marketing project http://t.co/bWfb2dxc #
tvwriterchat #scriptchat
2011-12-05 2:35 am gregorywalters @Jamie_LD Yes, I think Emma could have had potential as the series
progressed. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:35 am jacobsmadden I guess it would be funnier based on how the actors brought the
words to life. I didn't really lol at all. And I usually do. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:35 am Jamie_LD I didn't think I was going to like the Helen character, but in the end
she was pretty cool. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:36 am SarahAlexis4 @Jamie_LD Me too, she stood out from the other work people to me.
I could see her character more than the others. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:36 am Jamie_LD @jacobsmadden The pilot was really well done on film. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:36 am Jamie_LD @SarahAlexis4 Her bit of snark made her every watchable/readable.
#tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:37 am ElectricianPlus The "we can take out a small loan." "First meaningless screw of the
millennium..." She had the good lines in the open. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:38 am Jamie_LD @ElectricianPlus I did liked the very uncomfortable banter in cold
open. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:38 am jacobsmadden @Jamie_LD I haven't seen it.I imagined that the final product was
better than the script. bc I didn't think it was too joke-y #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:38 am gregorywalters I think Helen isn't likable in the beginning. Sex after dead fiance.
Didn't know 'til later that a year has gone by. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:38 am GrayJones @Jamie_LD I agree... I thought the filmed pilot was well executed &
well played, and didn't change much from the script. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:38 am ElectricianPlus @Jamie_LD I felt uncomfortable too...that is what was odd. They did
that well...and right away. Didn't wait. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:39 am SarahAlexis4 I appreciated the comedy that came out of the situations/character
flaws #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:39 am Jamie_LD @ElectricianPlus Too funny, I agree. I was like, NO, you are totally
blowing this. hahaha #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:39 am Jamie_LD Absolutely. Not antics. RT @SarahAlexis4: I appreciated the comedy
that came out of the situations/character flaws #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:40 am GCGeek Howdy! I saw the pilot so I had actors' inflections in my head. I
enjoyed the pilot & casting but questioned sustainability. #
tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:40 am Jamie_LD And the cold open definitely had me wondering what came next. #
tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:40 am ElectricianPlus @GrayJones @Jamie_LD I disagree....the filmed version was much
tamer. Easier on the date... They "NBC'd" this script. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:40 am Jamie_LD @GCGeek Why on the sustainability? #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:40 am IngridElkner There were so many 'punchlines' that didn't make any sense at all
and needed cutting. You could have cut 1/4 of the dialogue. #
tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:41 am Jamie_LD @ElectricianPlus They did dumb it down for TV, but the actor choices
were very good, and the chemistry. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:41 am OfficeHooky Hi folks, I played hooky on homework and didn't read the pilot. Is it on
the site? I can try and give it a quick read. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:42 am IngridElkner One thing that bugged me was there was not ONE straight character.
They were all jokey/sex-talking. Too many useless chars. #
tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:42 am GCGeek @Jamie_LD Not sure I wanted tomkeep seeing the back and forth
on-again/off-again "secret" relationship between Alex & Helen #
tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:42 am GrayJones If following me for a while, you know the subject matter is not my cup
of tea, but objectively, I thought it was charming. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:42 am NiceConundrum @TVWriterChat Enoyed Alex & Helen's interactions/the actors - miss
the show! The other characters needed more diversity, like News
Radio!
2011-12-05 2:42 am SarahAlexis4 @Jamie_LD I'm not sure. I wonder if it would have been a will
they/won't they situation each episode? #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:42 am Jamie_LD @OfficeHooky It's on the site under the chat topics #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:42 am ElectricianPlus The "Flying Dutchman" iPad idea was nice too... #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:42 am Jamie_LD @GCGeek are you typing on an !Pad? #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:43 am nobull408 Hey All! #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:43 am Jamie_LD @ElectricianPlus Total sexual harassment suit in the making. lol
Though we were like that when I worked in an office. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:43 am GrayJones Good point. Straight man cd've added laughs. RT @IngridElkner:
bugged me was there was not ONE straight character. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:43 am jacobsmadden @IngridElkner I agree about there not being a "straight" character. #
tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:43 am gregorywalters @ElectricianPlus Yes, nice touch w/Flying Dutchman. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:44 am IngridElkner The dialogue was directing the actors, and often came across as
clumsy. The action was sometimes too hard to understand. #
tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:44 am ElectricianPlus @IngridElkner They really narrowed down the characters in the
Filmed version. More of Alex/Helen. Like a Moonlighting. #
tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:44 am Jamie_LD @SarahAlexis4 Keeping up the tension over a long period would
have been difficult. But someone saw potential. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:44 am GCGeek Yes. It's a bear on the auto type. :-) "too keep" not "tomkeep" RT
@Jamie_LD: @GCGeek are you typing on an !Pad? #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:44 am IngridElkner @Jamie_LD Yeah, but there woulda been the one person in the office
you'd shush up around when they'd appear. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:45 am gregorywalters Odd office dynamics. All this time to talk about sex, but then they are
supposed to be in a pressure cooker... #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:45 am Jamie_LD @GCGeek I always hit the M for the spacebar, that's how I knew. #
tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:45 am ElectricianPlus @IngridElkner @Jamie_LD That was Margaret. She disappeared in
filmed version. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:45 am IngridElkner I haven't seen it. The script didn't encourage me much. It's a cute
show with occasionally funny jokes. Not enough for me. #
tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:45 am GCGeek Exactly! RT @Jamie_LD: @GCGeek I always hit the M for the
spacebar, thats how I knew. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:45 am Jamie_LD @IngridElkner Very true. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:46 am OMGChrisMueller I wonder if the pilot was written with less characterization because it
was based on a British show #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:46 am Jamie_LD @ElectricianPlus She did! I just realized that. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:46 am IngridElkner Does anyone truly hate anyone in that office? Why the heck not?!
Why isn't Alex falling over himself to impress a boss? #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:46 am jacobsmadden Since this is my first week, how long do these chats usually last?
Sorry if I'm going off-topic too soon. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:47 am GCGeek The "Armenian gansgter" shirt joke worked when you saw the
pinstripes on the episode. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:47 am GrayJones I thought the boss Stephen was also a pretty fun character. #
tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:47 am Jamie_LD @jacobsmadden one hour #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:47 am OMGChrisMueller @ingridelkner I thought the aired pilot played much better than the
read, helpd to have the actor voices in my head #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:47 am SarahAlexis4 I liked the moment in the double date scene where we see Alex's
conflict. He's got the new girl smiling & Helen calling him. #
tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:47 am GrayJones Me2 RT @OMGChrisMueller: I thought the aired pilot played much
better than the read, helpd to have the actor voices in my head #
tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:48 am ElectricianPlus @IngridElkner That can come out in future episodes. Hard to do all
that in 35 pages. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:48 am jacobsmadden Based on the script alone, I think the only reason it was picked up
was because there was already a successful version. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:48 am GrayJones @OMGChrisMueller though I don't think that was weakness in script,
but rather good casting/acting/directing. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:48 am ElectricianPlus Aired pilot compared the the script is exactly what "punching up" a
script means. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:49 am IngridElkner @ElectricianPlus But you gotta set the conflict or possibility up in pilot.
Not happy workplace, backslapping and sex quips. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:49 am Jamie_LD @jacobsmadden I've heard people say that too. The UK version,
right? #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:49 am jacobsmadden Maybe I shouldn't say ONLY reason --- but the main reason? #
tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:49 am GrayJones Has anyone seen the UK version? How did it compare? #
tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:50 am Jamie_LD @ElectricianPlus They did punch it up a bit. I liked both. But I missed
some of the lines from the script. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:50 am IngridElkner I prefer to read a pilot before watching. You can't get distracted.
Happy Endings pilot script MUCH better than aired ep. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:50 am Girlinahat @IngridElkner Shit - totally late today! Catch me up? #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:50 am Jamie_LD @IngridElkner I'm reading the Happy Endings scripts this week. #
tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:51 am jacobsmadden @Jamie_LD Yes. I just think the producers knew what they wanted it
to be like w/o have to put too much detail into the script #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:51 am IngridElkner @Girlinahat Talking about the pilot script for FREE AGENTS. If you
haven't read then don't worry, we'll just confuse you! #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:51 am OMGChrisMueller @grayjones which is why I think this written pilot assumed a lot,
because they had ideas for cast and had a show to base it on #
tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:51 am Jamie_LD BTW, this month on #tvwriterchat is going to be all about sitcoms.
Next month we are going to tackle one hour.
2011-12-05 2:51 am GrayJones Good point! RT @jacobsmadden: producers knew what they wanted
it to be like w/o have to put too much detail into the script #
tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:51 am IngridElkner @Jamie_LD It's quite funny, love the characters. I was so damn
disappointed by the show, never watched another ep. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:51 am Girlinahat @IngridElkner Bummer! No I haven't! i shall bow out and get back to
work then ;) #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:52 am Jamie_LD @OMGChrisMueller You are probably right about that. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:52 am Jamie_LD @jacobsmadden I think you're right. But they shouldn't have assumed
everyone knew the UK version. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:52 am GrayJones Must confess, I rarely watch comedies. I will be much more interesting
chat partner when we talk drama. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:53 am GCGeek As far as the PR aspect, I'm looking forward to Showtime's "Hou$e of
Lie$" -lot more artistic freedom w/corp consulting theme. #
tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:53 am Jamie_LD So, what did you think of the act breaks? #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:53 am ElectricianPlus It is easy to criticize, but this is a good script. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:53 am IngridElkner @Girlinahat Would be wise! "She works haaaard for the money.... So
hard for the money...." #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:53 am Jamie_LD @GrayJones We are reading AMERICAN HORROR STORY for next
month. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:54 am jacobsmadden RT @GrayJones: Must confess, I rarely watch comedies. I will be
much more interesting chat partner when we talk drama. #
tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:54 am GrayJones Cool! Can't wait to dig into 1 hr. RT @Jamie_LD: We are reading
AMERICAN HORROR STORY for next month. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:54 am Jamie_LD @ElectricianPlus By the time I finished the script, I wanted to see the
pilot. I think that's something. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:54 am IngridElkner @Jamie_LD OOOOOH! I'm down for that! #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:54 am jacobsmadden AHHHHHH American Horror Story is my favorite show on TV right
now! #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:55 am OMGChrisMueller @electricinaplus hmm, I've read pilots for community, modern family,
etc, before watching and this one was not up to their std #
tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:55 am Jamie_LD Again, do you think the act breaks in FREE AGENTS were strong
enough? #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:55 am ElectricianPlus @OMGChrisMueller That doesn't mean this wasn't good. Those are
monster Pilots you are talking about. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:56 am OMGChrisMueller @electricianplus and I liked free agents, enjoyed the show and the
pilot hooked me, but not this read #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:56 am IngridElkner Problem is I spent the last year in a comedy screenwriting class, so
my standards are high atm. Free Agents needed more drafts #
tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:56 am ElectricianPlus @Jamie_LD I do not think the Act Breaks were in the best places.
Seemed put in after the fact. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:57 am Jamie_LD @ElectricianPlus I agree, I thought they were a bit weak. #
tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:57 am gregorywalters @Jamie_LD Thought the act breaks were fine, especially the end of
the 2nd. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:58 am OfficeHooky I am at Act Break. Too many instances of lengthy dialog lines. I
thought the general rule is no more than 4 lines. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:58 am GCGeek @Jamie_LD Act breaks ended on joke buttons but the wingman
story/bulk wine purchasing was kind of weak. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:59 am ElectricianPlus @gregorywalters Filmed version completely changed Act Breaks. I
think the final version of this would have been better read. #
tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 2:59 am Jamie_LD @gregorywalters I'd have liked them to be a bit stronger. But I did
keep reading. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:00 am Jamie_LD I'd like to make sure everyone sends @authorViviAnna good vibes.
She has an important day tomorrow. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:01 am SarahAlexis4 Act breaks usually crisis for MC,culmination of all leading up to it,great
visual,maybe a cliff-hanger to bring back audience. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:01 am art1032 RT @Jamie_LD: I'd like to make sure everyone sends
@authorViviAnna good vibes. She has an important day tomorrow. #
tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:01 am ElectricianPlus How about "Potato?" Did we like the way that was handled? #
tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:01 am GCGeek Ommmmm! RT @Jamie_LD: Id like to make sure everyone sends
@authorViviAnna good vibes. She has an important day tomorrow. #
tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:01 am jacobsmadden Sincere question, did anyone actually laugh out loud while reading
this (without taking filmed version into account)? #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:01 am Jamie_LD @SarahAlexis4 I just didn't see that with this script. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:01 am Jamie_LD @jacobsmadden No. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:02 am GrayJones May be a silly question, but this was marked "3rd Draft" -- do we know
if this was the final draft? #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:02 am VerbaVitae RT @TheJudalina: Taking animated sketch pitches at new job. $300
a sketch if we buy. Email for deets. Judalina at gmail.com #
tvwriterchat #scriptchat
2011-12-05 3:02 am gregorywalters @ElectricianPlus "Potato" wasn't a funny enough word. "Ficus" was
better.n #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:02 am ElectricianPlus @jacobsmadden I am not sure too many writers read a script and
actually laugh out loud. That is a tough standard. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:02 am IngridElkner @jacobsmadden I laughed out loud twice. That was it. Sadly that's a
good statistic. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:03 am Jamie_LD @GrayJones I'm guessing not. There were a lot of dialogue changes
in the filmed version. A bit tamer. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:03 am ElectricianPlus @gregorywalters They cut "ficus." #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:03 am Jamie_LD @IngridElkner LOL twice is good? #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:04 am IngridElkner @Jamie_LD Compared to a lot of other scripts! If I giggle on the
inside, it's not good enough! #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:05 am jacobsmadden @ElectricianPlus Really? I have read pilots before and have surely
lol'd a goodnumber of times. Didn't know it wasn't standard #
tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:05 am Jamie_LD @IngridElkner Oh, your statistics. I thought you meant as an industry
wide thing. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:06 am Jamie_LD In defense, there are a lot of sitcom scripts that made it to TV that I
didn't even chuckle while reading. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:06 am IngridElkner @Jamie_LD I want to read a script on a tram and be laughing so
often people are staring at me. Simpsons scripts do that. #
tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:06 am VerbaVitae Family member moved into our house today -
#schleppedlikeabanshee - But, I look forward to reading #scriptchat
and #tvwriterchat transcripts
2011-12-05 3:07 am OMGChrisMueller honestly, I thought the written pilot had humor, but not LOL moments -
beaten horse, but actors really sold it well on air #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:07 am Jamie_LD @IngridElkner Me too. But I haven't read any like that for this
season's shows. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:07 am IngridElkner And the title... I thought they were going to be agents of some kind.
But they're in PR? Are they PR agents? #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:07 am Jamie_LD @OMGChrisMueller I agree, the actors did a great job. I did laugh a
few times at the show. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:07 am jacobsmadden I agree @Jamie_LD In defense, there are a lot of sitcom scripts that
made it to TV that I didn't even chuckle while reading. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:07 am GrayJones Since on topic of comedies, will interview "TV Script Doctor" this Wedwriter
on That 70s Show, South Park, Drop Dead Diva. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:08 am GCGeek When I read a sit-com pilot, I want to at least laugh on the inside. And
I want diggable characters and to want lots more... #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:08 am tim_stotz I wanted to participate on #tvwriterchat, but there was homework!
Man, that is giving me flash backs.
2011-12-05 3:08 am ElectricianPlus @jacobsmadden humor is subjective. Look at "Flying Dutchman"
line. Not funny on script, funny in delivery. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:08 am Jamie_LD @GCGeek And diversity in the characters. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:08 am OMGChrisMueller @jamie LD I think that shows the differing stnds for established
writers vs newbies re: tv pilots #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:08 am Jamie_LD @OMGChrisMueller True #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:08 am OfficeHooky @jacobsmadden No lol's. Kid vomiting on news clip was close,
though. This needs someone to bring the funny. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:09 am ElectricianPlus Actors are a part of this project. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:09 am GCGeek ...this had too many characters and competing for jokes. Too much
focus at office on sex after divorce. #BigDSurvivor #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:09 am SarahAlexis4 Thoughts on the security guard bits? I could have done without. Was
there more to that in the filmed pilot? Can't remember. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:10 am ElectricianPlus I do think all of these characters, other than Alex, were the same
"person." #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:10 am GCGeek Word. RT @Jamie_LD: @GCGeek And diversity in the characters. #
tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:10 am IngridElkner The fact I can't remember what I LOLd at says a lot. After watching
Brit sitcom My Family I always remember what I LOLd at. #
tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:10 am jacobsmadden @Electrician Agree. that's what I was saying earlier -the words aren't
too funny IMO, but the actors probably made them funny. #
tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:10 am ElectricianPlus @SarahAlexis4 I actually think the security guard could work here...it
just didn't. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:11 am IngridElkner @ElectricianPlus Exactly. Needed more character work, and
amalgamation. And differences! Tensions. Traits. Differing attitudes #
tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:11 am OMGChrisMueller @electricianplus I agree, voices all sounded similar, mostly because
they had ideas for actors, which is why the read was blah #
tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:11 am GCGeek I also think this demonstrates how tough comedy is. Funny is
personal not universal. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:11 am IngridElkner I wanted to get my green pen, edit, cut out dialogue, and punch up
jokes. I kept getting ideas on how to make better gags. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:11 am Jamie_LD @OMGChrisMueller @electricianplus This makes sense. Didn't need
the punch up. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:12 am Jamie_LD Word! lol RT @GCGeek: I also think this demonstrates how tough
comedy is. Funny is personal not universal. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:12 am IngridElkner They didn't milk the situations enough. If the teets are hanging, you
milk those babies. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:13 am Jamie_LD Next week we will be discussing the structure of the single camera
sitcom. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:13 am Jamie_LD Well said. LMAO RT @IngridElkner: They didn't milk the situations
enough. If the teets are hanging, you milk those babies. #
tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:13 am ElectricianPlus The best comedies make humor universal...and that is "gold." Very
hard to find Gold. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:13 am IanTopple @SusannaSpeier I actually read the pilot of community this morning.
#tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:14 am gregorywalters Think I would've have merged Dan, Gregg & Stephen into one
character and then come up with someone different. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:14 am IngridElkner @Jamie_LD Did I get a LOL from you? :) #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:14 am Jamie_LD @IngridElkner Nope you got a LMAO #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:15 am GCGeek @Jamie_LD @IngridElkner LMTO #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:15 am jacobsmadden Since some of u didnt find this pilot very funny while reading, curious
to know what u think is the funniest show of all time #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:15 am OfficeHooky Ditto RT @IngridElkner: wanted to get green pen, edit, cut dialogue,
punch up jokes. kept getting ideas on better gags. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:15 am ElectricianPlus @gregorywalters This is a perfect assessment. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:15 am IngridElkner @gregorywalters Yeah, a serious boss. One who scares them all. #
tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:15 am Jamie_LD @jacobsmadden Modern Family #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:15 am ElectricianPlus @jacobsmadden Too subjective... #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:16 am gregorywalters @IngridElkner Agreed. Boss needed to be completely different. #
tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:16 am jacobsmadden Yes, there needed to be at least one SEMI level-headed character. I
don't like shoes where EVERYONE is over the top #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:16 am Jamie_LD @IngridElkner a serious boss would have been great comic relief. #
tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:16 am GCGeek @ElectricianPlus I think we strive for universal & land at relatable. No
joke is universal cause funny is personal perspective #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:17 am ElectricianPlus @gregorywalters @IngridElkner But needed to not be "The Office." #
tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:17 am jacobsmadden SHOWS not shoes! Oh lord! #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:17 am gregorywalters @jacobsmadden Don't get me started on shoes. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:17 am IngridElkner @Jamie_LD And someone in the office who always tries to get in on
the jokes but he's lame and makes a fool of himself. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:18 am OfficeHooky Farts are funny. That's universal. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:18 am IngridElkner @IngridElkner Someone with lower status than Alex. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:18 am Jamie_LD Tweeted like a true male. RT @OfficeHooky: Farts are funny. That's
universal. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:18 am JasmineMcAtee @jacobsmadden Seinfeld, to me, is hilarious. But I was able to relate
to it, and continue to relate to it, as I got older. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:18 am IngridElkner @OfficeHooky How about a fart at a funeral? #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:18 am SarahAlexis4 I like relatable characters, not characterizations/caricatures. #
tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:19 am sljasble RT @Jamie_LD: Tweeted like a true male. RT @OfficeHooky: Farts
are funny. That's universal. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:19 am Jamie_LD @JasmineMcAtee Seinfeld a true classic. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:19 am gregorywalters @JasmineMcAtee People weren't marvelling at the pilot for Seinfeld.
It took time. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:19 am GCGeek Now funerals are hilarious. RT @IngridElkner: @OfficeHooky How
about a fart at a funeral? #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:20 am OMGChrisMueller @GCGeek agreed, which is why shows like 30R, Parks don't fare as
well in ratings as Modern Fam, which is more relatable #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:20 am ElectricianPlus @SarahAlexis4 The successful comedy shows have more
characterizations/caricatures. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:20 am jacobsmadden AGREE 100% @SarahAlexis4 I like relatable characters, not
characterizations/caricatures. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:20 am Jamie_LD I like Curb Your Enthusiasm too. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:20 am tim_stotz "Coupling" is probably my vote for funniest sitcom. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:20 am IanTopple I love Lucy is certainly funny and it stands the test of time in my
opinion. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:20 am SarahAlexis4 @gregorywalters Very true! It did terribly when first aired. #
tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:20 am OfficeHooky Even funnier...whether in Chicago Funeral Parlor or Indian Pyre. RT
@IngridElkner: @OfficeHooky How about fart at a funeral? #
tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:21 am JasmineMcAtee @gregorywalters Seinfeld did have distinctive characters (and their
lines) from the start, however. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:21 am IngridElkner I find Modern Family fake and smarmy. A lot of the comedies out atm
are doing little for me, and comedy is my thing. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:21 am GCGeek @OMGChrisMueller And I like all three. I could never be a critic. #
tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:22 am JasmineMcAtee Gotta head out -- lovely chatting with you folks! See you next week. #
tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:22 am Jamie_LD I'm sure when it finally airs DEEP FRIED will be everyone's favorite. #
tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:22 am gregorywalters If I'm laughing out loud during a pilot, I'll watch again, but sometimes
(as in "New Girl") I'll return b/c I like the MC. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:22 am IanTopple @SarahAlexis4 @gregorywalters It took me a long time to get used to
Seinfeld. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:22 am jacobsmadden My favorite comedies have always been The Golden Girls and
Frasier. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:22 am OfficeHooky Female Farting at Funerals is Funniest #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:22 am ElectricianPlus Shows without characterizations/caricatures are basically dramas.The
is no one in real life like ANY Modern Family character. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:23 am GCGeek @JasmineMcAtee G'night, Jasmine! #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:23 am OfficeHooky Frasier is gold. That is an excellent Pilot script for MC. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:23 am IngridElkner Don't ever watch an Australian sitcom. We haven't had a good one
since the '80s. Unless you count Wilfred... #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:23 am Jamie_LD @ElectricianPlus Don't be so sure about that. I can name several
people like MF characters. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:23 am malber @ElectricianPlus I think the dictum for relatability is why so many
shows feel exactly the same. #Tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:23 am ElectricianPlus @IngridElkner You are a tough sell, there is funny everywhere. #
tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:23 am OfficeHooky Arrested Development is the funniest show of all time. It's Pilot script
is incredible. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:23 am Jamie_LD @malber Shouldn't you be working? #Tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:23 am IngridElkner @OfficeHooky How about queefing at a funeral? #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:24 am GCGeek OK, I am a sucker for alliteration. RT @OfficeHooky: Female Farting
at Funerals is Funniest #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:24 am tim_stotz @IngridElkner I wan to see the Australian "Wilfred" pretty bad. I loved
the US remake. I know IFC had it on for a while. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:24 am OfficeHooky Would have been very funny if Giants beat the Packers RT
@JasmineMcAtee: Gotta head out -- lovely chatting with you folks! #
tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:24 am IanTopple @malber Hmmm... I think you can still make something relatable but
put your own spin on it. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:24 am IngridElkner @OfficeHooky But would Frasier have been so strong without Cheers
to develop the character? #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:24 am malber @Jamie_LD Yeah, should be. But I felt bad because I wanted to talk
about why this script wasn't working as well as it couldve #
Tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:24 am GrayJones 1 of only 2 comedies I watched in last 5 yrs (other- Outsourced). RT
@OfficeHooky: Arrested Development is the funniest show. #
tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:25 am Jamie_LD @malber Put your 2 cents in. We'd love to hear it. #Tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:25 am IngridElkner @tim_stotz Aus version is a lot darker, feels dank, musty, depressive.
Americans like to make things shiny and happy. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:26 am IngridElkner I think I'd pick Roseanne as best sitcom ever, but I've overdosed on it
and need to be away from it for a long time. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:26 am IanTopple Family Matters is still funny to me after all these years @tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:26 am ElectricianPlus I think, ultimately, the Alex/Helen "sex" hurt this script more than
helped it. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:27 am OfficeHooky Hysterical. Free Agents needed a queef. Or two. RT @IngridElkner:
@OfficeHooky How about queefing at a funeral? #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:27 am GrayJones Now, if we talked about the Arrested Development pilot... #
tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:27 am IanTopple Family Matter is still funny to me after all these years. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:27 am ElectricianPlus And "Helen?" What kind of name is that for a character in this era? #
tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:27 am malber @Jamie_LD it felt like it needed a big polish. Like there were good
situations but it didn't realize the comedy in all of them #Tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:27 am jacobsmadden @IngridElkner I love Roseanne, too. She's starring/producing a new
sitcom for NBC, did you hear about that? #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:28 am Jamie_LD @malber I liked the premise, but I kept waiting for the big laugh.
Never came. #Tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:28 am IngridElkner @OfficeHooky Yeah! Helen queefs at the start, embarrassed at office
around Alex. He keeps making puns about it. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:28 am OfficeHooky @IngridElkner There was a funny Aussie sitcom about 3 daft girls, or
something a couple years back. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:28 am IanTopple Family Matters I meant. Sorry. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:28 am gregorywalters @ElectricianPlus The 1st sex romp,...okay. The second time
shouldn't have happened. Ficus! #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:28 am IngridElkner @jacobsmadden Yeah, haven't seen it yet. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:28 am malber @Jamie_LD it was supposed to be a more subdued kind of humor
that is better in execution than on the page. #Tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:29 am ElectricianPlus @Jamie_LD @malber I really wanted to like this show...I tried. It was
so close. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:29 am Jamie_LD @malber And it was better in execution. #Tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:29 am IngridElkner @OfficeHooky Can't think what that could be. Any idea of title? #
tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:29 am IanTopple @jacobsmadden @IngridElkner I love that show too. My parents don't
for some reason though. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:30 am OfficeHooky Why the show Title Free Agents? #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:30 am Jamie_LD @ElectricianPlus @malber I didn't dislike it. I just expected more, I
guess. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:30 am gregorywalters @ElectricianPlus Didn't watch but one-dimensional sex talk at the
office would've turned me off. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:30 am whomadewhoprod
s
@GrayJones @OfficeHooky #tvwriterchat I've started watching the
cartoon Archer. Very clever too!
2011-12-05 3:30 am IngridElkner And the central question was weakened by the events. "Will Alex get
Helen?" Of course he will! No doubt means no series. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:30 am GCGeek Did I do that? RT @IanTopple: Family Matters I meant. Sorry. #
tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:30 am Jamie_LD @whomadewhoprods My husband loves Archer. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:30 am malber @Jamie_LD Yeah, true. But you can see why it didn't draw Two and a
Half Men numbers. #Tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:30 am ElectricianPlus @malber @Jamie_LD And...this was better filmed than on the page.
Think Alex, Helen and Stephen were cast well. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:30 am OMGChrisMueller @malber @jamie_LD I thought the pilot lacked a clear MC, it started
with Alex then seemed it was more about the duo #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:30 am jacobsmadden @IngridElkner Hasn't been aired yet. I don't think they've even filmed
the pilot. Probably will sometime in the spring. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:31 am OfficeHooky Moonlighting is great example. They waited to have sex. You need
that tension. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:31 am Jamie_LD @malber Absolutely. Even if placed where Two Broke Girls is placed,
it wouldn't have the draw. #Tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:31 am IngridElkner @IanTopple As a kid I liked Roseanne but felt the kids' frustrations
personally. As an adult I see how honest and real it is. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:31 am ElectricianPlus @malber Also doesn't have naked Ashton. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:32 am malber @OMGChrisMueller It was always supposed to be a buddy comedy,
but not sure if that was clear in the pilot. #Tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:32 am Jamie_LD Okay folks. Great chat tonight. We are talking single camera sitcom
structure next week. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:32 am GrayJones 1 hr is up already? Great chat, everyone! Thanks for joining in. Gotta
sign off to get back to colour grading. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:32 am Jamie_LD @malber Good luck tomorrow. Keep us posted. #Tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:33 am gregorywalters Really liked getting together to talk about a single script! #
tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:33 am SarahAlexis4 Nice chatting with everyone. Have a good night. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:33 am malber @ElectricianPlus casting and acting are way more important than
novice writers think, I suspect. #Tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:33 am jacobsmadden Are we allowed to continue chatting? I am sick and just laying in bed
until I can breath well enough to call asleep. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:33 am IngridElkner @jacobsmadden Roseanne's Nuts? People were tweeting as they
watched the first season. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:33 am malber @Jamie_LD Thanks! Will do. #Tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:33 am OfficeHooky @IngridElkner I can't recall. Complete slutty idiots. 2-3 years old. Like
real trash. The Aussies I was with loved it. #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:34 am OMGChrisMueller @malber that's what felt so off, to me at least, hence the title Free
Agent(s), but I liked the show, just not the pilot read #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:34 am jacobsmadden @IngridElkner No, not that one. It's going to be a sitcom set in a
trailer park. Called "Downwardly Mobile" #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:34 am OfficeHooky This was enjoyable. RT @gregorywalters: Really liked getting
together to talk about a single script! #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:34 am IngridElkner If you want to read friendly-on-the-eyes notes from previous chats,
check out http://t.co/kbulLPCo All the juicy bits! #tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:34 am art1032 Wow quick hr tonight. It was interesting #tvwriterchat:) Night All.:)
2011-12-05 3:35 am GCGeek @malber @OMGChrisMueller It wasn't clear as a buddy comedy
when I read it; not even a f-buddy comedy. And no sports. WTH? #
tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:35 am IngridElkner @OfficeHooky Ohhhh, Kath & Kim? That was big here, I couldn't
stand it. US did remake, it was TERRIBLE. So, so, so bad. #
tvwriterchat
2011-12-05 3:36 am malber @GCGeek Yeah, the title needed a LOT of work. Screwed up their
potential viewers, I think. #Tvwriterchat


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